Quick poll… who has been ghosted before?
Ok, you can all take your hands down, because, unless you’ve somehow been blessed with some miraculous luck in this dating world of ours, then you have at some point, whether male or female, young or old, been ghosted.
At Swanned, we’re not about preaching, but we are about helping, and we would love to do our bit in helping to cut down or possibly even eliminate the awful practise of ghosting.
Ghosting is not new. It may seem like it has only come about since the invention of the mobile phone, but we know this happened pre mobile days too. It was just done in another way. Phone calls were not returned. People were stood up. People just went “missing”. And we are pretty sure it felt just as bad back in those days as it does in 2019.
We understand why some people ghost. Some people do not consider other people’s feelings and find it easy to switch off and not find empathy for the person they are texting/messaging/dating.
However, we believe the majority of people who ghost others do so not because of the above reasons, but quite the opposite. They do like the person, they are just not interested romantically in them, and they don’t want to hurt their feelings by telling them, so they choose to ignore them. Not in a malicious manner, but they almost can’t cope with the guilt of letting someone down, and so ghosting them is just all round the easier thing to do.
But at Swanned, we believe you should do the exact opposite. Let your date know you are not interested. We promise this is the right thing to do. It doesn’t have to be dramatic and doesn’t have to be long winded. Just saying a few words to let the other person know your dates are not going any further is definitely the way to date...and here are our reasons why.
1. It actually makes YOU feel better. As awkward and squeamish you might feel composing a text saying pretty much “it’s not you it’s me”, once you hit send, you will feel liberated. No guilt, no shame, just an overall feeling of well being that you have done the right thing.
2. We’ve all been there and we know it is not nice to be on the receiving end so put yourself in their shoes. Remember the old age saying, treats others as you would wish to be treated yourself. It does make for a happier world.
3. One good turn deserves another. At Swanned we do believe that good things happen to good people. This latest date might not be the one for you, but letting them down in an honest fashion can only sure lead to you being on the right path for helping you find your Swan.
4. You might be surprised at the response. You may not want to let your date down, but there is a good chance that they are not feeling the love either, and it could lead to a mutual appreciation and understanding of something that is just not meant to be.
5.They may not be your Swan, but both founders of Swanned have made good friends from people they have dated but turned out not to develop into anything further. And all these friendships came about through honest discussions about their feelings before anyone was offended or hurt. We even forget that we dated these guys, as they just seem like friends like we met in any other way.
So next time, if have you been a culprit of the ghosting in the past, please just take a minute to consider the above and as always, happy Swanning.
Ready to dive in? Head over to itunes or Google Play store today to download Swanned today!