Have you ever planned for New Years’ eve for weeks on end only for it to be a complete let down? Or ever anticipated the opening of a new restaurant, but once you finally get a table, food and the services proves to be sub-standard to say the least? Feels a bit crap doesn’t it. Now, think about whether you have ever felt like this on any of your Tinder dates, or any other of the numerous dates that you’re clocking up. You plan your outfit, the perfect location, even the best time of day. You are attracted to your date’s photos, they seem outgoing and interested in all the messages you have exchanged. And then you meet them...and it’s a complete flop. Their photos were not true to life, they don’t sound the way you’d imagined they would in your head, and to say there is no connection is the understatement of the century.
It can start to feel like it is just disappointment after disappointment. Until now that is, as we introduce to you a new approach and concept in the search to find your Swan. Welcome, to Pre-dating.
Pre-dating is the tried and tested method to help avoid those first-date failures. I was introduced to this concept by a friend in London, who I think we can say invented the term (and the approach), so thank you Jude. She is also a Doctor with a speciality in psychology so this girl knows her stuff. It also helps that she has dated a few men along the way too, so she has been there!
So what is it? Well, the concept is really very simple, and easy to execute.. All you need to do is take all expectations out of your date, take away all the dreams about how this person is going to turn out, and take out all the hopes that this person is going to be your Swan. (Bear with us, this sounds way more depressing that it actually is)
We want you to stop planning dates. Yes, that is correct we are a dating app telling you to stop dating. But what we are NOT telling you to do is stop meeting people. Of COURSE we want you to meet people, we want you to use Swanned and get off it again as quickly as possible. We want you to meet lots of people, give others a chance but take away the word “date” from your meetings, and replace it instead, with “Pre-dates”.
Sound good so far?
A quick meet up, a lunchtime coffee or walk, or a cheeky drink on the way home from work. Enough time that will give both of you enough of an idea as to whether you would like to meet each other again, and then, and only then, you can plan your actual date. Where you can get excited about what you wear (boys don’t pretend you don’t think about this a tiny bit too.), plan to go to a new trendy bar to try out for a couple of drinks, or that café you’ve been dreaming about trying.
Don’t forget we are helping your purse strings too. Dating is expensive. Spending your hard earned cash on someone you actually want to hang out with is really a no brainer.
Do this, and we promise the world of meeting people becomes a lot more straightforward, a lot less intimidating and you will have to deal with a lot less disappointments. Trust us, the founders of Swanned both do this and I can’t remember the last time either of us thought after a date, “well that was a let down.”. It also removes any pressure from those of you who do find meeting new people daunting, and it also cuts down our precious time in this busy world of ours.
Don’t get us wrong, we love dating, we love meeting new people, we’ve had dozens of dates with great guys that just weren’t quite the sw(one). Using pre-dating is just an easy method to help you find your Swan sooner.
As always please be kind and respectful of others. The founders of Swanned live in Sydney and we agree with the Aussie value of giving others a fair go. Pre-dating is not about brashness or speed dating, it is about managing expectations and keeping yourself grounded in what can sometimes seem like the crazy world of dating!
So there you have it, go forth and pre-date you lovely bunch and as always, happy Swanning.
Isla Cameron, Founder, Swanned
Originally from Scotland, now in Sydney, Isla is one of the founders of Swanned. She has a hundred funny dating stories and even got taken to Hawaii on date #3. (Wouldn’t you love to hear that story!) She’s passionate about helping others find the (sw)one they want.
Ready to see for yourself? Head over to itunes or Google Play store today to download Swanned today!